We all deal with developmental life transitions: separation from parents, defining our own identity, marriage, parenthood, empty nest, aging, facing death.
The essence of a good life means embracing and learning from each new stage of life; otherwise, we get stuck and we atrophy. We are dead in place.
Therapy can help us successfully navigate these difficult new roles.
Structural transitions result from our agency. We choose to change the structure of our lives. We leave marriages, we define new boundaries with a parent or a child, we change careers, we define a new identity.
The wounds of our pasts and our dreams for the future influence all these decisions. The more conscious we can be in choosing new paths, the more we increase the probabilities of success.
Birthing a new self means taking risks to change our old belief systems.
“I’m not good enough,” to
“I’m going to risk believing in myself; I’m doing x, no matter what.”
We affirm our life force and our own power.
Developing a new sense-of-self in the world is like a new birth. It is an act of courage and of exhilaration.
To live with someone who has no empathy for your needs damages your self-esteem. In this environment, low self-worth is inevitable and is not your fault. The only questions are: How did I get into this situation? How do I get myself out of it?
If a narcissist reared you, the damage is probably visceral. In addition to talk therapy or Sandplay therapy, bodywork therapy may be necessary to restore optimal functioning. Therapy will help you see how your thinking is distorted by unrealistic expectations and self-doubt.
If you married a narcissist, congratulations: the damage did not come during the developmental years of your body and psyche. Now the question becomes how to get free. The task is to understand:
How did I choose him/her?
How can I set new boundaries?
How can I resist the seduction to compromise myself?
How do I protect my children and myself?
How do I change my thinking about how I deserve to be treated?
How do I need to change my thinking about what is due me?
How do I value my own worth?
Sandplay may be used in addition to talk therapy if the client is local and is open to non-verbal work.
Sandplay is a powerful tool to access the unconscious, to sidestep the defense of words, and to lay bare the essence of a situation. Its use is not advisable in all situations.
For a full explanation of Sandplay Therapy click on the button below.
Dr. Hartshorn can do for you what she has done for hundreds
of other clients in her 35+ years of clinical experience.
She can help you change your life.